Thursday, March 5, 2015

The last few months have been difficult due to MS dealing me a crappy hand. My days have been filled with sleep, whenever possible, and dealing with the symptoms of MS……

1. First up…..My legs are incredibly stiff and sore, so sore that the muscles feel tightly tightly wound into knotted little balls. It's painful and uncomfortable, and sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. And, I am sporting some large, but inexplicable bruises. Which looks delightful.

2. Non restorative sleep. Now this is one hell of a ball ache….always knackered, despite sleep…….and always feeling like I'm missing out, which of course, I am.

3. And I've fallen over. twice. Once, I was alone in the bedroom. I fell backwards and hit the bedside unit. This wasn't too bad as a fall, as I did bend my legs, so it was more of a 1950's graceful actress faint. The bedside unit remained intact too. And I was dead chuffed about that, as it's an old cheese cupboard and pretty gorgeous.
The second time was one of those slow motion thingies, BUT. YOU. CAN'T. DO. ANYTHING. TO.  CHANGE. IT. I'd stood up out of my wheelchair to put my coat on. One arm in. No bother…..all good. So I go to put the next arm in. It's partially in (think T-Rex….) and I start to lose my balance. I can't save myself, due to one arm being stuck in a sleeve, and I fall straight back, no bending of the knees. and smack the back of my head on the arm of the sofa. And that REALLY hurt! And, to add insult to bloody injury, I couldn't get up. Luckily, people were here to help me< but I felt like a right twat, and my head REALLY hurt.

4. Cog fog. This is when you can't remember shit…..and it makes for a crazy time…..ask any of my family. Except the good man actually. He doesn't get frustrated with me over this. At the moment…. ;)

5. Independence to shower and get dressed…..sometimes this is no bother, and sometimes I struggle like mad, and just can't manage it. This I find really tricky to deal with, as it seems too big of an assault on my independence. And it makes me feel more than a bit grim.


So yeah, I've had that little lot going on, and a myriad of other issues too, and I've had a blank mind, which has been represented by a blank page. Or rather, a blank screen.
But now, I'm back, and this is my 100th post, and I hope/plan to maintain writing my words.

Xx