Thursday, June 22, 2017

Due to the sun, that we love, but equally complain about, I've just ordered a garden parasol. NOTHING has made me feel more like a grown up. I've spent the day in bed, lolling around, trying to get the air moving, with windows and doors open. I also, like a grown up, ate an ice cream whilst lying on the bed.
The dog has been padding around, trying to get settled. On the bed, off the bed, in and out the garden and emptying his water bowl. The freedom to move around in response to the environment.

My brother and his wife and kids have buggered   off to Devon! Not for a holiday, BUT TO LIVE! I thought I would be the one to move to Devon/Cornwall. I shall try to be pleased for them, as I make use of their place, as my holiday home near the sea. I suppose I still have time on my side....I might make a move there to a sheltered accommodation type thing.....

Today the air is moving!! We have a breeze!! So it was ice creams and the park after school. One of the Little Man's friend from school was there, and they were both still rocking the pirate look, from their pirate treasure trip to Coombe Abbey.

It's now the next day, and I am one of those people that complain about the sun, well the heat it produces. It's so clammy.
I go into hospital on Monday and all I can think about is the air con. I'm going for a small operation. Operation is too big a word for it, but I feel like a pillock calling it a 'procedure'. So that's where I'll be come Tuesday and Wednesday......after the month I spent there, it feels all familiar, funnily enough.

Later that same day........I feel like I've been hit full force in the face with the knowledge that I have MS. The reason for my spack attack? Going to hospital on Tuesday to get a supra pubic catheter fitted. I mean, it really under lines the fact that all is not well with me. I'd had a few clues to this over the last few years......

*Unable to train to be a midwife any longer.

*Can't swim anymore.

*Start walking with a stick.

*No longer able to drive.

*Walk with crutches.

*Can no longer walk.

*Buy a really good wheelchair. This is Bad/Good.

*Buy a scooter that's not fucking burgundy. Again.....Bad/Good.

And then we move, and life becomes easier. A house I can get in and out of for a start.

So why do I feel so lost?

Monday, June 19, 2017


I am SO battered at the moment, and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Which is really helpful as we hurtle towards Father's Day. Still, thanks to the almighty internet I do have one offering for the Good Man. And I have more gifts in mind, but it requires me to be up, showered, dressed, and out. An easy everyday kind of thing, that is now an absolute ball ache. The almighty internet also provided me with a new dress, some joggers (my first ever pair) and a t-shirt for the little man.
Also though, my mind is on the awful tower block fire in London. I keep thinking of those people who have lost their lives, or their homes, or their family members or friends. I can't imagine what they must be going through, and if they'll ever recover. Can you imagine?? And unbelievably, it was the stage for a political battle. Thankfully, JC won. And thankfully, May didn't. I'm sure she has a long long long to do list, in response to this tragedy, but I'm afraid  don't see her as anything other than robotic and unfeeling.
So, tomorrow is Friday and as such, The Good Man is around. What to do?? Craziness abounds......we both want to go to a garden centre. On the list are purple sprouting brocolli and strawberries, plus other stuff I've forgotten, so far we have peas and carrots growing.....I say 'we' but I had nothing to do with it. I might make a request for some tomatoes.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Burn bright like a hoo haa....

After 4 weeks in hospital, it feels so good to be home. Well, apart from the fact that I came home with an in dwelling catheter. My lady garden feels as though it has a bonfire smouldering in it. Nice.  But I'm getting a supra pubic catheter fitted, which I can't wait for. It should see the return of some independence and confidence.
Today, also saw me join the Labour Party. As someone who has regularly used the NHS, I felt I should get behind the party that doesn't want to sell it off. This country wasn't overflowing with cash when the NHS was set up in 1948, not long after the Second World War. It was set up by Aneurin Bevan, The Minister of Health.

It had three core principles;

• It be free at the point of delivery.
 •It meets the need of everyone.
• It's based on clinical need, not the ability to pay.

Right, I'm off to the shower to douse the flames burning bright in my hoo haa, so I will love you and leave you.
Talk soon.