Monday, January 22, 2018

Today the whole family, the immediafte family anyway, of which I am their muvvaa, except one, was round for a roast! And very nice it was too. The master chef was no less than the resident vegetarian. He doesn’t mind cooking meat, just the thought of eating any meat makes him gag. He’s mighty fine in the kitchen, so no complaints from me. Well, maybe just one.....our son seems to eat an awful lot of sausages. As complaints go, it’s rather mild. However, sharing a bathroom with the WORLDS HAIRIEST MAN is slightly frustrating. It gets EVERYWHERE. I kid you not, 4 at a time in the soap. Thank you my love. Beautiful. As for the loo, I’ll leave that to your imagination. You’re welcome. And actually The Good Man is not that hairy at all. Just a little. Well, his forearms are kept bare, due to his job. Thanks horses, your teeth are doing a grand job. I thank you...


So calm yourself because I had an adventure! I went to hospital a few days ago....by ambulance!! And I left, 11 hours later, in the same state I arrived in....FML that’s 11 hours that neither I nor tootie will ever get back. God we could have gone out for the day, up London! Mental note made for next time
NB: Tootie=my friend and PA....we used to work together and my boy LOVES her, as do I and the dog, and Mr Elliott and all my girls! That’s a lot of love Tootie! I suspect the next trip out will be less eventful. Mind you, you can’t get less eventful than that day. I got a numb arse from being on a gurney with the thinnest mattress. But, still, I stand by what I’ve said about the NHS being fantastic. I  It was so very busy, but smiles (from staff) came easily, and they helped each other out. 

Midwifery can be bloody and noisy with tears of joy, and heavy tears of great sadness. But I miss it so badly.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Bed hair and shitting it....

Well hello again! If feels like forever since I last posted a blog. So I apologise for being absent. But I was busy acquainting myself with a very nice doctor who gave me the amazingly effective antiemetic jab in my bum. I told my mum off for assuming the doctor was a man. She wasn’t. Anyhoo.....it worked so quickly. And it stopped me from completely draining myself. 10/10 for drugs!! And the Good Man also gets 10/10, for not treating me like a lepper. I felt like one, and I wondered if I should ask one of my girls to paint a black cross on the front door AKA....signaling the Black Death resides beyond......

And blimey.....when I was typing ‘beyond’ I paused for a second, because I’m old and type sooooooo
slowly, anyhoo google thoughtfully suggested that This is how you spell Beyonce. And blimey again, I thought, that’s how you know you’ve made it! But then I’m guessing she already knows that.......

Right, you remember when I was being sick? ⬆️ Well, joy of joys it only went and kicked off a
mo fo of a relapse. I’m laying in bed, unable to sit up or roll over. My daughter gets married in two weeks and I am shitting it a bit in case I can’t get there....and if I do, I’ll be sporting the most magnificent bed hair. I would love a messy updo, so halfway there.....REMEMBER.....you’ve got to look for the gift* cheers for that mantra Nina.

So anyway, the main aim of tomorrow = HOSPITAL + DRUGS home and recover. I’ll have two weeks to kick this relapse in the balls AND GO TO A WEDDING!!

So yeah, I’m going to sleep now and I’ll be dreaming of I.V drugs and high heels and where oh where did I put THE bag for THE WEDDING!??