Last night I went to the supermarket with the good man to do the week's shopping. I usually do the shopping online, but I'd left it, and the cupboards were bare. So, to the shop we went. And all went well.....until a lady approached and told me how lucky I was. I'm in a wheelchair, do you call that lucky? Turned out she was referring to the fact that I had a husband and that he was doing the shopping, with me, a poor disabled. Inside my head I was screaming. She told me how lucky I was to have a good husband. I told her he was lucky to have me. To be honest, we were both a bit taken aback by her. Y'know, the kind of taken aback where you form the words after the event.
This incident raised several questions.....
1, Why did she approach offering opinion? For all she knew, I was in the wheelchair because my husband had caused me to be there, accidentally or violently.
2, Why did she single out my husband as good? Because he was shopping? For food that he was going to eat? For being with me even though I was in a wheelchair?
3, Why did she single me out as lucky?
4, Would she have approached us individually?
5, She approached us, so she must have felt it was ok to do so. And she must have also felt it was ok to offer her opinions, whilst not knowing anything about us, or our situation.
On reflection, this has made me laugh, but it has also made me angry. I may be wrong here, but it did feel as though she was saying that I was lucky to be with someone, despite my disability, and that my husband was good for being with me, despite my disability.
And just like she should not offer opinion to two people she doesn't know, I cannot offer opinion on the reasons behind her behaviour or actions. But I can say how it made me feel. Quite frankly, it was her shit, and she can keep it.
This incident raised several questions.....
1, Why did she approach offering opinion? For all she knew, I was in the wheelchair because my husband had caused me to be there, accidentally or violently.
2, Why did she single out my husband as good? Because he was shopping? For food that he was going to eat? For being with me even though I was in a wheelchair?
3, Why did she single me out as lucky?
4, Would she have approached us individually?
5, She approached us, so she must have felt it was ok to do so. And she must have also felt it was ok to offer her opinions, whilst not knowing anything about us, or our situation.
On reflection, this has made me laugh, but it has also made me angry. I may be wrong here, but it did feel as though she was saying that I was lucky to be with someone, despite my disability, and that my husband was good for being with me, despite my disability.
And just like she should not offer opinion to two people she doesn't know, I cannot offer opinion on the reasons behind her behaviour or actions. But I can say how it made me feel. Quite frankly, it was her shit, and she can keep it.
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