It has been bought to my attention (by which I mean bullishly stated/SHOUTED) that a couple of people out of the thousands of you, are not happy with me using any words derived from the word spastic. I am only ever referring to myself, and I am aware it can be used as an insult. I am not seeking to insult myself, or anyone, rather I am seeking to claim that word back, and diminish it.
So, to discuss the provenance of the word. It is a medical term, used to describe muscular weakness and spasms. Consultants have used it when describing what Multiple Sclerosis has done to me. In particular to my legs. It's VERY upsetting to hear that word used to medically describe yourself. One things for sure, I don't start SHOUTING at the doctor for being DISGUSTING for using that term to describe what's happening to me, and why. It's VERY upsetting to live with it. So I use it to refer to myself, in a bid to reduce the horror. I know it may sound clunky, rude and uncomfortable to other people. Living with it is definitely clunky and uncomfortable. And it has certainly rudely interrupted my life. If you don't like it, don't read my blog.
I will not be censored/controlled/bullied publicly, by someone who could choose to contact me privately to discuss her concerns and opinions. But no, she, for whatever reason, prefers to publicly SHOUT at me and talk AT me. Never once a discussion. I know that the blog is global, and that I'm inviting responses just by putting my thoughts and words out there.
But not from this person, and not in this way.
This person writes about the fantasy of rape and necrophilia. When she invited me to read her blog, I chose not to, and privately told her of my decision. I would not tell her, or anyone, what to write, or what not to write, and would appreciate the same in return. If you don't like my writing, or what I write about, don't read it.
For mobile viewers click HERE. I love Adam Hills, so I recommend you watch it all, but if you can't, whizz forward to 10.50.
I am not on the outside, looking in and poking fun at something I have no experience of. I am on the inside, living and experiencing this every minute, of every day. I wish I wasn't. But I am. So if I say spaztastic, and if that makes me laugh at myself and the situation I find myself in, and what I have to deal with, so be it.
So, to discuss the provenance of the word. It is a medical term, used to describe muscular weakness and spasms. Consultants have used it when describing what Multiple Sclerosis has done to me. In particular to my legs. It's VERY upsetting to hear that word used to medically describe yourself. One things for sure, I don't start SHOUTING at the doctor for being DISGUSTING for using that term to describe what's happening to me, and why. It's VERY upsetting to live with it. So I use it to refer to myself, in a bid to reduce the horror. I know it may sound clunky, rude and uncomfortable to other people. Living with it is definitely clunky and uncomfortable. And it has certainly rudely interrupted my life. If you don't like it, don't read my blog.
I will not be censored/controlled/bullied publicly, by someone who could choose to contact me privately to discuss her concerns and opinions. But no, she, for whatever reason, prefers to publicly SHOUT at me and talk AT me. Never once a discussion. I know that the blog is global, and that I'm inviting responses just by putting my thoughts and words out there.
But not from this person, and not in this way.
This person writes about the fantasy of rape and necrophilia. When she invited me to read her blog, I chose not to, and privately told her of my decision. I would not tell her, or anyone, what to write, or what not to write, and would appreciate the same in return. If you don't like my writing, or what I write about, don't read it.
I am not on the outside, looking in and poking fun at something I have no experience of. I am on the inside, living and experiencing this every minute, of every day. I wish I wasn't. But I am. So if I say spaztastic, and if that makes me laugh at myself and the situation I find myself in, and what I have to deal with, so be it.
Brilliantly put. The etymology of the word spastic is a medical term, so I agree, you are not using it as an insult - why would you insult yourself? You are using it to describe your situation. I applaud you for reclaiming the word, for taking it away from the realm of those who would use it to belittle or insult. Yes, anything on the internet is out there for all to read, and comment on too if the facility is there, but as you clearly said, we can choose to not read it. Lorraine, your illness has taken away so much from you but it hasn't taken away your intelligence and ability to write succinctly and beautifully, nor has it taken your opinion, thoughts and voice, so good for you for not letting anyone else attempt to.
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