Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Today has been one of those days. I'm sure you know what I mean. You know....where stabbing yourself in the preferable...

So, I write my blog......all good.....and then it bloody well deletes itself. How, I don't know, but there I am, looking at a blank screen. And I can't do anything about it now, as I have an appointment to see the neurologist. So off I go, and only to be told I've reached the end of the line, treatment wise, because the risk of catching death is just too great. Great. So I'm now free-styling my way through this unreasonable, life stealing disease, AND I can't sign into blogger. I am having such a great day. So, fuck it. I'm having buckets of crabbies, chocolate and whatever else takes my fancy at Sainsburys.
Yes, that's right. I'm WILD!

Right, so, I've just got back from the MRI, nothing to show for that little treat, except my bra is now in a bag, and Sainsburys……jellybeans, and a new jumper……a much better goodie bag here. And yes, my bra was still in a bag. Thank goodness I was wearing a coat. Anyway, the good man is out tonight, and the little man is also out, on a sleepover with one of his big sisters. So that leaves me, alone with the TV. Daughter number 4 is here, but if she leaves her room, lap top, or bed, remains to be seen. I won't hold my breath though….

So earlier today, I was comparing and contrasting, my first home with where I am now. On paper it would appear the 2 houses are similar……both 3 bed semis, and sharing the street with nurseries and schools. But that's it. My girls toys were stolen from the garden. A man up the road was murdered in his front garden. And making eye contact, would sometimes be enough to start people shouting at me. 'Sorry. I didn't mean to smile at you.'

Where I am now, smiles, greetings, and offers of help come easily from other people. The woman that blocked our driveway, remains to be the only fly in the ointment here. And I can live with that.

What I am finding hard to live with, is that right now, there is no treatment that I can have. And frankly, I am more than a bit terrified.

Not waving, but drowning.

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