Friday, June 13, 2014

Following on from my previous post, I want to say a big thank you to my girl for that crumble, it was delicious, as was the bolognaise she made the next night. So it's fair to say, that as I write this post, I'm feeling fat and happy.

Happy. That's a funny one. I have so much to be thankful for, that makes me truly happy, but sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with loss. The biggest loss, that's had the biggest impact, is the loss of walking. This means a myriad of other losses…..

A, Walking along whilst holding hands with the good man, or the little man. My hands are either taken up with crutches or with the wheelchair.

B, Umbrellas. Seriously. What a thing to miss! My hands are always busy, (see A), hat hair it is then. Could be worse I suppose……I look ok in a beret, but most hats are too big for my pin head.

C, Not being able to take the little man in the garden, or down to the park (both are inaccessible). This really gets me, as he is such an outdoor boy.

D, Midwifery. I loved this, but you can't deliver babies whilst in a wheelchair/on crutches. I got into my second year of training, was diagnosed in my first…..that's how quick my descent has been. I would initially walk the corridors (yes, WALK) and I'd be literally bouncing off the walls, like I was drunk.

E, Driving. The loss of this ability makes the world SOOOOO small. And it doesn't make sense to me, the car is adapted……why can't I do it? Writing this has made me determined to try……AGAIN……Driving an adapted car is very different to how you drive 'normally'. Bravery AND practice needed.

F, Independence. I have gone from being very independent to being so dependent. E has something to do with this……so I best get on with practicing my driving then….

I'll let you know how it goes….. 

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