Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Wonky bird.

I had a lot of years walking, and some of those years were in high heels, so I would think, hope, that all that experience would count for something. No? Earlier on I was thinking, 'You know what, I think I could manage a few steps. I mean, really, how hard can it be? Babies do it.' I had, at this point forgotten telling a friend about my slump down a wall and how it took me half an hour to get back up. And that was with help. But then my mind kicked in to remind me that I was being a bit of a dick. So that was nice.

We all have that inner voice, that issues warnings, and it's down to us to listen to it. But we also have an inner voice that whispers encouragement. It's down to us to hear it, and to work out if those whisperings are friend or foe. See above⬆️
In the past, I referred to the early days, pre diagnosis days, as my body whispering to me, that all was not well. A numb face. ALWAYS choosing flats over heels. I didn't listen. Well, not until I gave it no choice but to scream at me. Scream it did, in the form of double vision, numbness all the way from feet to waist, and vomiting, with little warning, so sometimes I was sick in a carrier bag, and sometimes on myself. Just anywhere really. These moments were not my finest moments. Loss of balance when walking, resulted in me bouncing off walls, misjudging doorways (bruised shoulders). Dealing with all this was no walk in the park, especially as I didn't know, at that point, what was going on. And I was training to be a midwife. And, my previous marriage was breaking down like wet sand under my feet . So yeah, there was an awful lot for my inner voice to scream about.
Still, no matter, it all came good. I am now firmly wedged in my new life. The girls are all good, their lives are happy lives. I'm good. A wonky bird, but a happy bird.

Some friends of ours, gave me a gift. A beautiful gift of a wonky bird. I do love birds. Birds symbolise freedom to me. If only I could fly. Can you imagine? How awesome would that be?
In the past, my childhood past, to fly would always be the superhero power that I would choose to have. You can keep your invisibility, X ray vision, and Hulk smash shizzle.
Another friend came round today wearing a beautiful long top/smock that she'd made, and she looked so good! There's nothing that she doesn't know, and she's kind.....always kind. And always brings cake round. So, she's always welcome here.....with or without a cake.

Though preferably with.

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant! I'm a sporadically wonky bloke much to my wife and kids amusement (they do care too though).

    I can identify with virtually everything here....except the heels as they were never my preferred choice.

    I hope you retain your positive attitude and stay strong,

    Cheers (and cake rules!)


    PS Please feel free to watch my vlogs at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFdpjlewVrvdm0gB_e4PaLA which is Michael Muir and my MS........it would be nice to get a comment or 2 from a fellow MSer.